When Mama was 51, I was 17. I was midway through my freshman year in college. Where was she, what was she doing at the stage of her life? Did she have the same concerns about her children which I am going through at present? Did she have doubts about decisions she had made. Was she as uncertain of the future then as I am now?
I remember being at the crossroads. Feisty and independent yet full of insecurities. Discovering exciting things yet also looking back to the comforts of familiarity. Did I cause her much anxiety? Was she proud of what I was trying to do at that age?
I also remember that those were the most trying of times. Were her fears more for Papa than for us at that time? (Martial law=incarceration!!!) How did she cope with this crisis? How did we survive?
It would have been nice to ask her these questions. It would have been enlightening to hear her answers. But her illness prevents her from telling me about the mother she heroically tried to be all these years. Nonetheless, it is great that she continues to teach me life's lessons at age 85!
(Photo by Gari Buenavista - http://pananaw.multiply.com)
beautiful photo and beautiful words. salamat gari.
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