Hormonally-challenged daw kasi!

    Saw these words emblazoned on a t-shirt in the maternity section of SM - "I'm Hormonally-challenged!" Amused that a pregnant woman could be described that way, I thought to myself "Teka, that shirt could also be talking about non-pregnant me!"

    Since I am now in that stage of my life, I have been reading up on menopause hoping to learn how to cope with the challenges accompanying it. According to this book, "A Guide to the Early Stages of Menopause and Beyond," following are some of the symptoms which indicate that you're on your way there:

     * Skipped periods or shorter menstrual cycles
     * Hot flashes & night sweats
     * Irritability
     * Anxiety
     * Loss of concentration
     * Headaches (especially premenstrual migraines)
     * Vaginal dryness
     * Less interest in sex
     * Urinary stress incontinence
     * Mood swings
 
. Many of the symptoms are interconnected. What usually begins as a physical problem can escalate into a psychological problem. And yes, most of the symptoms can usually be explained by the rise and fall of hormone levels. The book says it's almost like puberty in reverse. (Oh gosh, not again!)

     After looking at the checklist of symptoms, I found myself ticking off a number of them (Thank God, not all of them!). But I'm not telling you which ones. But I will do give you a clue you about the ones which cause me the most concern.

     One of the challenges of being in this stage of my life is my erratic supply of patience. Many times I seem to lack the forbearance of letting go  of events or people who irritate me. Instead, it's like that now I allow them to worm their way into my calm and pleasant demeanor with the end of changing me into a mean, scowling hag! 

     But it is not the danger of adding wrinkles to my face nor the over secretion of stress hormones which may translate into sickness that I am most wary about. It is the declining state of my soul which worries me.  Every time I vent my ill feelings about someone, I feel  justified in my anger. But after having done so, I am no longer sure if it was worth it. It is as if, by spewing out the negative words, the marrow of my moral existence is being siphoned off. It is not a comforting thought that I may end up with a desiccated soul which cannot find its way to heaven.

     Can I truly blame my dwindling estrogen for this state of affairs? How convenient that would be! Or do I  point to a situational factor (more specifically, certain persons) as the reason for the aberration of my otherwise kind spirit (so I've been told)?

     The lack of hormones & its physiological effects is probably beyond my control unless I resort to Hormone Replacement Therapy. So what is it that I can control? Maybe I can choose to avoid the people who serve as  discriminatory stimuli for me to display uncalled for behavior and instead be only with people who will nourish my spirit and my soul! Maybe I can go away  somewhere all by myself  to shed off all negativity that has made me unhappy with myself these days.

    If there's any place out there offering Kindness Replacement Therapy, please  let me know!