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Sunday, August 10, 2008

Ma'am Taray

       Nagbago na siya! The phrase is neutral in meaning, I guess. But by varying voice inflections, it can go either in the direction of delight or the way of panghihinayang.  When one is in dire straits  or demonstrating intolerable behavior, change is a much hoped for event. A turn-around in fortune and circumstance in that context is welcomed by all.  But not when the situation is reversed. Safe to say, it is unfortunate only when change is in the direction from good to bad. Or as I have lately concluded, when it is towards a state that other people are not in agreement with or will adversely affect their own lives.  And THAT is not necessarily bad for the CHANGEE!

         Twice in my life, I have been intensely disliked by some people mainly because I had exhibited behavior which was not usual for me. For many, my default mode is that of an agreeable and  compliant person who has made it her mission to please people. In those two instances, I showed a side of me seldom seen by many. This would be the part of me that would speak out her mind when she felt aggrieved or would take measures not in keeping with what the high and mighty think should be done or said.   When I would not care to be bullied any more by them, these people thought of me as mayabang!

      This assertive spirit has cost me friends in the past and as I do it again, I am ready to suffer the consequences. Wait, no, there is no suffering here! Instead, there is a sweet realization  that I am living my life as a mature adult who will not waste concern anymore on the fact that some people are upset that I have changed! No more groveling at the feet of domineering and think-they know-it-all creatures! Ma'am Taray has emerged! So there!

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