When one reaches the 50s, it seems like you are entering the period when one sheds baggage that is making the trip to HOME so much slower. Your experiences during this time help you trim the excesses that will just be in the way of your focusing on what is truly important in your life.That would be both happy and sad places to be in. But today, I dwell on the sad.
Sometimes, you want to hold on to many things but there is no law which says you are the only one who can decide on this option. What if the other party wants to let go? What if in the eyes of some people, you are a but a speck of nothingness that they don't see. What if people just tolerate your existence because not doing so would be so cruel? You attempt to be one of the guys, so to speak, but in your heart you know it cannot be. It might be because you are of a different generation or simply a creature from another mold altogether.
And that's when you know it's time to move on. It's time to look inside yourself for the comfort you need when things go astray. It's time to use all that you have learned to nurture those who would care to ask for help.
But if there is no one, there is always you. Because at the very end, there will be no one else but you. The 50s, a preparation for being alone.
Alam mo te while reading naiiyak ako kasi kahit at 40's pa lang ako ramdam ko na. But kaya ko pa naman kasi nasanay naman ako mag - isa sa buhay so hindi na mahirap para sa akin mag adjust when I get 50. But of course once in a while naiisip ko din what if talagang wala ako makakasama sa buhay? Anyway it would be better for me to enjoy everyday of my life.... may oras pa naman...
ReplyDeletei lived alone for many years in new york and at times, it does get lonely but you can think of it this way, sometimes, in the midst of people, you sometimes still feel alone.
ReplyDeleteon my way to turning 50 rin in a few years, time to weed out things and people that are not good for you. and for those people who weed you out for whatever reason, ika nga ni mia, kung ayaw mo, wag mo. i love you sis. marami nagmamahal sayo. di ka nagiisa.
Kung titingnan natin ang buhay natin, mas maraming dahilan para magsaya! At ito ang aking palaging realization pagkatapos kong magdaan sa isang malungkot na karanasan. Siguro, ang aking mga pagmumuni-muni katulad ng nasa itaas ay paraan ko para ilantad ang sakit dahil pagkatapos nito ay unti-unti na s'yang naglalaho... Sa totoo lang, naniniwala pa rin ako na ang tao ang gumagawa ng sarili nyang kaligayahan, kahit anumang edad n'ya at katayuan sa lipunan. Kaya sabay-sabay nating sabihin, "Be Happy!"
ReplyDeleteThanks, sister! I know I can always count on you in the area of loving. In fact, I believe the love shared in our family can obliterate any negative things that may come my way. However, maybe because we operate mainly in this kind of environment, rejection from others needs some getting used to. But in our fading and alone years, I'm sure the memories of those who loved us and those we will continue to love will sustain us!
ReplyDeletesaka ma'am wag mong kalimutan na pwedeng-pwede pa ring madagdagan ng mga taong nagmamahal sa iyo, kahit 50 ka na! :D pag gumagawa tayo ng espasyo, napupunan din ito.
ReplyDelete(kaya kaya di mawala-wala ang tambak ng papel sa opisina ko? hehe.)
I see what you mean, Mitch! Happiness is like a Psych teacher's stack of unchecked papers. You never run out of it! Hehehe!
ReplyDelete