It was good for the soul

I am in Tagaytay for the weekend. To do a research report still unwritten way past its deadline. It wasn't easy getting here. Gathering people together on a common time and a willingness to go out of town just to complete this task met some barriers. When it was finally decided that  Jay and I would go this weekend, Kara got sick. Symptoms of the dreaded swine flu scared the household and that promptly led me to cancel the plan. When her fever subsided after a day, I thought working in my office or in a rented room in a nearby hotel would suffice. Tried going to at least 4 places but they were nowhere near my expectations in terms of cost and security considerations.

But typical of me, I would not, could not let go of the idea of working away from my everyday distractions. I knew that I could write in a day what it would take a week if I did it in my home or office. It was not out of whimsy that I wanted to do this. I just knew what I had to do to meet this urgency.

So I pursued Tagaytay once  again. My favorite place for working couldn't accommodate me this time. They had a death in their community and were too busy to attend to me. So I opted for the next best place, counting on the generosity of a friend who arranged for it. Puede naman! Yay!

There was no available vehicle to bring me up as two cars were not roadworthy. But no, I could take the bus with Jay. No problem! Then on the morning of the departure, Jay called to say he couldn't  join me as he was being asked to go home because his father was sick. Haay! 

That didn't stop me though. And because I would be alone, Tito decided to ask the driver to bring me up using the Innova. And he promised to pick me up the next day. Transportation glitch solved!

On the way there, it dawned upon me that there was in all probability one more reason I persisted in doing this despite all the stumbling blocks. In the car, still along EDSA, I put on the iPod to listen to my fave tunes in it. When "Lullabye" by Billy Joel came on, the tears started to fall and they wouldn't stop. I was shamelessly shedding tears every few minutes. This was not the first time this song had this effect on me. The first time was when Papa died and now that both of them were gone, it was not hard to imagine both Mama and Papa singing the song for me.   

The tears continued on the SLEX, in Tapa King in Sta. Rosa, in SVD while in the privacy of my room. Anywhere. It mattered little now if anyone would notice. There was no stopping the dam unleashed.

Yes, I was brought to Tagaytay because I needed to cry, to purge myself of all the hurt,  and to admit my shortcomings.  I think I will still cry some more for Mama and Papa in the future but hopefully, for joyous reasons.

I listened to my soul, against all odds, and I'm glad I did!