Taken during the celebration for WIlfrido Ma. Guerrero's 100th birthday on January 22, 2011
Thursday, January 27, 2011
WMG Friends
Taken during the celebration for WIlfrido Ma. Guerrero's 100th birthday on January 22, 2011
Monday, January 24, 2011
My Hands are Full
One hand, a handbag with 2 mobile phones. The other hand, folders with papers to check. One shoulder. tote bag with laptop inside and more personal papers to attend to. Right hand, insulated coffee mug. Left brain, reports that need to be written. Right brain, emotions that just have to be put on hold.
Most days, this is how you will see me as I get into my ride and later, walk the short distance to my office after I disembark. That picture of me is a clue on what I hope to do when I get to my place of work but most of the time, they remain as unfulfilled figments of my imagination. I seem to always forget that there are tons of other tasks that await my attention as soon as I get to sit at my desk.
I like to think of myself as a successful multi-tasker, being able to muster the energy and resolve to accomplish all that is expected of me as a mother, wife, sibling, friend, teacher, administrator, colleague, church volunteer, etc. But lately, I know that many spheres of my life have suffered because of this illusion that I am Superwoman.
Today, with a headache that won't go away, I am trying to finish a task which was due over two weeks ago. I am debating with myself whether this should take precedence over a regular parish meeting which I have neglected to attend many times. Should I just ignore the message my body is giving me that I try to do too much. Why, oh why do I have dilemmas like these?
Many people stop doing challenging things because of a fear of failure. I think with me it may just be the opposite - I try to be good at everything because I have a fear of mediocrity. But I realize now that by trying to do everything, I just might end up in that state.
So, I will find the time in the next few weeks to sort out my priorities. Out of obligation, I will discharge the duties which will be for the good of many. I will not allow barbs and thoughtless remarks to discourage me from doing my best. I will turn my back on situations which make me unhappy and instead move on to dreams that I can fulfill. In the long run, I will toss out those which will take me away from giving more time and attention to those I love and those who love me back!
Most days, this is how you will see me as I get into my ride and later, walk the short distance to my office after I disembark. That picture of me is a clue on what I hope to do when I get to my place of work but most of the time, they remain as unfulfilled figments of my imagination. I seem to always forget that there are tons of other tasks that await my attention as soon as I get to sit at my desk.
I like to think of myself as a successful multi-tasker, being able to muster the energy and resolve to accomplish all that is expected of me as a mother, wife, sibling, friend, teacher, administrator, colleague, church volunteer, etc. But lately, I know that many spheres of my life have suffered because of this illusion that I am Superwoman.
Today, with a headache that won't go away, I am trying to finish a task which was due over two weeks ago. I am debating with myself whether this should take precedence over a regular parish meeting which I have neglected to attend many times. Should I just ignore the message my body is giving me that I try to do too much. Why, oh why do I have dilemmas like these?
Many people stop doing challenging things because of a fear of failure. I think with me it may just be the opposite - I try to be good at everything because I have a fear of mediocrity. But I realize now that by trying to do everything, I just might end up in that state.
So, I will find the time in the next few weeks to sort out my priorities. Out of obligation, I will discharge the duties which will be for the good of many. I will not allow barbs and thoughtless remarks to discourage me from doing my best. I will turn my back on situations which make me unhappy and instead move on to dreams that I can fulfill. In the long run, I will toss out those which will take me away from giving more time and attention to those I love and those who love me back!
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Which one?
I wonder whether calmness. restraint, boredom, predictability, silence, peace of mind, and contentment all occur in one continuum... and then excitement, novelty, impulsiveness, gaiety, irrationality, passion and discontent in another. If so, which one would you rather have?
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Lina Van Heugten's 40th day
| Start: | Jan 19, '11 4:30p |
Psych department, PHAn
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Another formula for forgiveness
The loss of very close friends of mine continue to haunt me even after many years. Although I am constantly reminded by well-meaning people that time heals all wounds, I still cannot get to that place where what happened no longer matters. That might be because I have not learned to forgive them for the pain of not knowing what it is I did or did not do to deserve what they put me through.Lately though, I've imagined myself forgiving them, saying "Ok na ako. Ok na rin sana kayo!" I've abandoned my idea that in order for a person to be forgiven, he or she must acknowledge his or her wrongdoing and apologize for it. It is highly unlikely to happen so why should my soul suffer over someone else's inability to show remorse? Maybe I did deserve to be severed from their lives. Who knows?!
This realization is probably ten years too late but hey, those were really big and deep wounds! Taking baby steps now but I have my whole life ahead of me for making peace with my universe. For now, "Wherever you are, I forgive you!"
Friday, January 14, 2011
Romancing my Id
As I get older, it seems that getting friendly with my Id has become less dangerous. It is not as threatening to my Ego as it used to be.I've noticed that not only am I less fearful about speaking my mind, I've also allowed my mind to speak in not so wholesome ways.
I've allowed wicked thoughts to slip through the sturdy and unyielding barriers of yesteryears. For example, when I see people with very unattractive physical features, I think about descriptions that are definitely politically incorrect. People who fail to meet my expectations are berated with sometimes unkind words (silently, of course!) And... ehem, when I see very attractive men of every age, I imagine possible dalliances (Joke lang, T!) Then there's my ever-increasing temptation to butt in when overhearing conversations of strangers. I just have this need to correct errors, offer answers to their questions, and oh, just say anything to "enrich" what is going on!
Yesterday, I stunned people in a fastfood after I told a distracted food server to pay attention to me. Everyone turned to my direction when I said that and I actually did not even feel embarrassed. With my sweetest smile, I explained that because he was multi-tasking while taking my order, he was getting it all wrong. I apologized, of course, saying that I was a teacher and thus, used to telling young people what to do. I told him the lesson from this was "Focus, focus, focus!" Good thing the young chap never erased that smile on his face all throughout the little scene we had!
So I thought, "Ayan na, talagang nag take-over na ang Id ko." But then again, Freud whispered to me that I might be wrong on that. That last incident? OMG, that was probably my Superego still saying who's Boss!
And so it seems my dear Id, while you may have found a comfortable, little spot in my thoughts and imagination, it may still be a while before you see regular action in my life!
I've allowed wicked thoughts to slip through the sturdy and unyielding barriers of yesteryears. For example, when I see people with very unattractive physical features, I think about descriptions that are definitely politically incorrect. People who fail to meet my expectations are berated with sometimes unkind words (silently, of course!) And... ehem, when I see very attractive men of every age, I imagine possible dalliances (Joke lang, T!) Then there's my ever-increasing temptation to butt in when overhearing conversations of strangers. I just have this need to correct errors, offer answers to their questions, and oh, just say anything to "enrich" what is going on!
Yesterday, I stunned people in a fastfood after I told a distracted food server to pay attention to me. Everyone turned to my direction when I said that and I actually did not even feel embarrassed. With my sweetest smile, I explained that because he was multi-tasking while taking my order, he was getting it all wrong. I apologized, of course, saying that I was a teacher and thus, used to telling young people what to do. I told him the lesson from this was "Focus, focus, focus!" Good thing the young chap never erased that smile on his face all throughout the little scene we had!
So I thought, "Ayan na, talagang nag take-over na ang Id ko." But then again, Freud whispered to me that I might be wrong on that. That last incident? OMG, that was probably my Superego still saying who's Boss!
And so it seems my dear Id, while you may have found a comfortable, little spot in my thoughts and imagination, it may still be a while before you see regular action in my life!
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Sit quietly
"Sit quietly for now and cease your relentless participation. Watch what happens...Life continues to go on... why are you so sure that your micromanagement of every moment in this whole world is so essential? Why don't you let it be?"
- From: Eat, Pray, Love
by Elizabeth Gilbert
Friday, January 7, 2011
Monday, January 3, 2011
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