The loss of very close friends of mine continue to haunt me even after many years. Although I am constantly reminded by well-meaning people that time heals all wounds, I still cannot get to that place where what happened no longer matters. That might be because I have not learned to forgive them for the pain of not knowing what it is I did or did not do to deserve what they put me through.Lately though, I've imagined myself forgiving them, saying "Ok na ako. Ok na rin sana kayo!" I've abandoned my idea that in order for a person to be forgiven, he or she must acknowledge his or her wrongdoing and apologize for it. It is highly unlikely to happen so why should my soul suffer over someone else's inability to show remorse? Maybe I did deserve to be severed from their lives. Who knows?!
This realization is probably ten years too late but hey, those were really big and deep wounds! Taking baby steps now but I have my whole life ahead of me for making peace with my universe. For now, "Wherever you are, I forgive you!"
I, too, have lost a friend over a decade ago, and still regretting what I should have done. One day, when we meet, we'll tell each other's story and be healed together.
ReplyDeleteGood luck to us!
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