Lightheaded
In the supermarket
Is it vertigo again
From looking up and down
The aisles and rows of goods
To feed my hungry family?
Or dizzy
Over the overwhelming circumstances
Of Mama's sickness and hospital bills?
Out of my reach
Beyond my control
Or just bone tired
And sleep deprived?
Shuttling from job to job
101 to Psych to Home...
To St. Luke's to Church to PETA
Wanting to do it all
Because I have to do it all
I need to stop and sit
Close my eyes
Rest my mind
Catch my breath
To reclaim Me
Even if only for a moment.
Better yet
Until the spinning is no more.
Haaaay Jang! Nakakahilo nga ang dami ng mga gawain mo. Maybe you need to give up some of the activities. Could it be a case of filling every minute so that you would not be able to dwell on the eventual loss of Tita Diding? Will keep you, your family and Tita Diding in my prayers. Have just come from Nueva Ecija. My dad's only sister peacefully passed away at 80 years old.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Espie. The poem was written while Mama was in the hospital. She was confined for 12 days and was mercifully discharged yesterday. During this exact period, I was just starting on a new job which I accepted mainly for its being able to add to our dwindling resources intended for Mama's health needs. Bad timing lang siguro since those who usually help care for Mama were unable to do so this time around. But faith always triumphs over despair and always in His time... so nakaraos din with everyone's prayers!
ReplyDeleteMa'am! Hug! =) When it rains it pours talaga noh? Glad to hear (or read?) that somehow, you can see clearly now the rain is gone =p Let's pray for more sunshine (but less of the heat)!
ReplyDeleteSalamat, Ton! Sa mga ganitong panahon ang katumbas ng iyong hug ay malaking energy boost. Fully charged na ulit ang low bat ko!
ReplyDeleteI sympathize with you. Looks like someone else has to step up and something has got to give. You can't do it all. Someone has to do the supermarket chores and/or you could give up PETA (?). The job has to be kept especially with dwindling resources. In other words, adjustments need to be done and other people have to share the responsibilities even on a temporary basis. Hoping the best for your mom. Be patient with her and give her all the attention that she needs. Take care.
ReplyDeleteThanks, Jun. I guess all I needed was some sympathy during this difficult time. And a chance to unload my feelings. Things are actually manageable now with my mom out of the hospital and my son finished with his creative musical theater course with PETA (We had to pick him up late in the night after his classes.) Medyo back to normal na kami.
ReplyDeleteHope you and your boys are ok!